.

hello fabulous people   I must warn you in advance: do NOT visit this space     Ellie is my slave...i mean....i keep her chained up....i mean.....she is my best friend and i love her dearly *yes they bought that*   Do NOT Sign her partition and do NOT free her

.
	*winter is here*  Click on the following picture to watch 'Salad Fingers', its disturbing but im not sure why. Let me know what you think XellenX   Thank you harry, i understand it's been around forever on fat-pie.com

                                               

 

 

 

 

 

Peter Kay’s Universal Truths

 

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones

At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

You never know where to look when eating a banana.*

Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

Old women with mobile phones look wrong.

Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

You never ever run out of salt.

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal his or her nose.

Bricks are horrible to carry.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 

XellenX

1. Log into Passport and open  the Edit page for your Space.
2. In the Address bar of your web browser (The place where you type in web addresses and stuff) add the text “&powertoy=sandbox” (without the quotation marks) to the end of the displayed URL. For example mine would look like: http://spaces.msn.com/members/darlangel504/PersonalSpace.aspx?_c11_BlogPart_blogpart=myspace&_c=BlogPart&_c02_owner=1&powertoy=sandbox
3. Click the "Go" button next to your web browser address bar.
4. Once the page has finished reloading, click on the "Customize" button in your Space.
5. Click on the button which says "Modules", click on the "Customize" button and there should be a listing for"PowerToy: Custom HTML."
6. Click the word "Add" next to it and then click the "Save" button.

Click [here] to see what the sandbox looks like

 

An explanation of the picture:

1= The box where you will type the HTML code

2= If you choose to uncheck the Border box then the module name will not appear.

3= If you tick this then the picture (or whatever you choose to put in the box) will appear inside a module (like the blog list etc.) If you don't tick it then it will just apear to float. 

4= Is the "Revert" button. If you do not like the HTML code in your box or the settings you have choosen; or if you just want to go back to the last thing you had posted, simply click this button and everything will go back to the last saved settings.

5= This button, obviously, saves any changes you have done

 

You now have the Custom HTML box on your space...great. Now what do you do with it?

 

Firstly, anything you add in this box must be in HTML format. To read-up on a not-so-complicated difinition on what HTML is click [here]

 

If it is a picture you would like to use than you will need to upload the file (picture) to the internet somwhere. This just means the picture needs to appear on the internet somewhere. Don't worry it's not as complicated as it seems.

You can also 'steal' a picture from a website already on the internet if you would like. Just right click on any image you find on the internet and choose "Properties." Copy the file address (Always starts with http://) by highliting the name of the file and hitting Ctrl+C on your keyboard at the same time. This method will make things way less complicated for you and less time consuming. Just keep in mind that most images you come across on the internet are copyright and the property of the website you are visiting.

If you cannot find a file on the internet you would like to use or you already have one in mind on your computer, you have to upload it to a 'host site'. I suggest using any of the following:

 

http://www.ripway.com/index.asp

http://photobucket.com/

http://www.walagata.com/

http://www.myfilestash.com/index.php

http://www.uploadhut.com

 

For pictures this is the HTML code you want to paste into the Custom HTML Box: <P align=center><IMG height=228 dynsrc="" src="Your_Image_File_Name_Here.jpg" width=306 align=center border=0></P> Change the Red Text with the URL (File name or address) that you copied earlier. (Highlight the red text and press Ctrl and V. Remember we get the address from the File Hoster, or by getting it from 'Properties' if it's a picture already on the internet.) The Blue Text (the numbers) changes the size of the picture. You may have to play around with this clicking on 'Preview my Space' to make sure it is looking ok. Green Text: This is for changing the position of the picture (left, right, centre) but i suggest leaving it as centre. You can add a border around the picture by changing the Purple Text     All that's left really is to have a mess around with it.   One last thing, the box will only allow 512 characters. So sometimes you may have to shorton addresses. Not a problem   Try removing all quotes from HTML "attributes" and remove the "www." in front of web addresses and possibly trailing "/" at the end. So, a normal link might look like: <a href="http://www.andnbsp.com/"> AndNBSP.com</a> But, I could shorten it to: <a href=http://andnbsp.com> AndNBSP.com</a>   XellenX©

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

in prison: you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
in school: you spend most of your time at a desk that sticks to your butt.

in prison: you get three meals a day.
in school: you only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.

in prison: you get time off for good behavior.
in school: you get rewarded for good behavior by being called the teacher's pet.

in prison: you can watch TV and play games.
in school: you get detention for playing games.

in prison: you get your own toilet.
in school: you have to share and wait your turn in line.

in prison: they allow your family and friends to visit.
in school: you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

in prison: you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
in school: you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars

 

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system:

 SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

 You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

 You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)

 In the rain (+8)

 But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)

Named Tina (-4)

Tina is a dancer (-6)

Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

 A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

 You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

 YOUR PHYSIQUE

 You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

 You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

 You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

 You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

 She realises this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

 

Tim Burton based 'The Nightmare before Christmas' on this poem

 

It was late one fall in Halloweenland, and the air had quite a chill. Against the moon a skeleton sat, alone upon a hill.

 He was tall and thin with a bat bow tie; Jack Skellington was his name.

 He was tired and bored in Halloweenland "I’m sick of the scaring, the terror, the fright.

I’m tired of being something that goes bump in the night.

I’m bored with leering my horrible glances,

 And my feet hurt from dancing those skeleton dances.

 I don’t like graveyards, and I need something new.

There must be more to life than just yelling, ‘Boo!’"

Then out from a grave, with a curl and a twist,

Came a whimpering, whining, spectral mist.

 It was a little ghost dog, with a faint little bark,

 And a jack-o’-lantern nose that glowed in the dark.

It was Jack’s dog, Zero, the best friend he had,

 But Jack hardly noticed, which made Zero sad.

All that night and through the next day,

 Jack wandered and walked. He was filled with dismay.

Then deep in the forest, just before night,

Jack came upon an amazing sight.

Not twenty feet from the spot where he stood

Were three massive doorways carved in wood.

He stood before them, completely in awe,

His gaze transfixed by one special door.

Entranced and excited, with a slight sense of worry,

Jack opened the door to a white, windy flurry.

 Jack didn’t know it, but he’d fallen down In the middle of a place called Christmas Town!

Immersed in the light, Jack was no longer haunted.

 He had finally found the feeling he wanted.

 And so that his friends wouldn’t think him a liar,

He took the present filled stockings that hung by the fire.

 He took candy and toys that were stacked on the shelves

 And a picture of Santa with all of his elves.

He took lights and ornaments and the star from the tree,

And from the Christmas Town sign, he took the big letter C.

He picked up everything that sparkled or glowed.

He even picked up a handful of snow.

He grabbed it all, and without being seen,

He took it all back to Halloween.

Back in Halloween a group of Jack’s peers

Stared in amazement at his Christmas souvenires.

 For this wondrous vision none were prepared.

Most were excited, though a few were quite scared!

 For the next few days, while it lightninged and thundered,

 Jack sat alone and obsessively wondered. "

Why is it they get to spread laughter and cheer

While we stalk the graveyards, spreading panic and fear?

Well, I could be Santa, and I could spread cheer!

Why does he get to do it year after year?"

Outraged by injustice, Jack thought and he thought.

Then he got an idea. "Yes. . .yes. . .why not!"

In Christmas Town, Santa was making some toys

 When through the din he heard a soft noise.

 He answered the door, and to his surprise,

 He saw weird little creatures in strange disguise.

They were altogether ugly and rather petite.

As they opened their sacks, they yelled, "Trick or treat!"

 Then a confused Santa was shoved into a sack

And taken to Halloween to see mastermind Jack.

In Halloween everyone gathered once more,

 For they’d never seen a Santa before

And as they cautiously gazed at this strange old man, J

ack related to Santa his masterful plan:

"My dear Mr. Claus, I think it’s a crime

That you’ve got to be Santa all of the time!

But now I will give presents, and I will spread cheer.

We’re changing places I’m Santa this year.

 It is I who will say Merry Christmas to you!

So you may lie in my coffin, creak doors, and yell, ‘Boo!’

And please, Mr. Claus, don’t think ill of my plan.

For I’ll do the best Santa job that I can."

And though Jack and his friends thought they’d do a good job,

 Their idea of Christmas was still quite macabre.

They were packed up and ready on Christmas Eve day

When Jack hitched his reindeer to his sleek coffin sleigh,

But on Christmas Eve as they were about to begin,

A Halloween fog slowly rolled in.

Jack said, "We can’t leave; this fog’s just too thick.

There will be no Christmas, and I can’t be St. Nick."

 Then a small glowing light pierced through the fog.

What could it be?. . .It was Zero, Jack’s dog!

Jack said, "Zero, with your nose so bright,

 Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?"

And to be so needed was Zero’s great dream,

So he joyously flew to the head of the team.

And as the skeletal sleigh started its ghostly flight,

Jack cackled, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

‘Twas the nightmare before Christmas, and all though the house,

Not a creature was peaceful, not even a mouse.

The stockings all hung by the chimney with care,

When opened that morning would cause quite a scare!

The children, all nestled so snug in their beds,

Would have nightmares of monsters and skeleton heads.

The moon that hung over the new-fallen snow

Cast an eerie pall over the city below,

And Santa Claus’s laughter now sounded like groans,

 And the jingling bells like chattering bones.

And what to their wondering eyes should appear,

But a coffin sleigh with skeleton deer.

And a skeletal driver so ugly and sick

They knew in a moment, this can’t be St. Nick!

From house to house, with a true sense of joy,

 Jack happily issued each present and toy.

From rooftop to rooftop he jumped and he skipped,

 Leaving presents that seemed to be straight from a crypt!

 Unaware that the world was in panic and fear,

 Jack merrily spread his own brand of cheer.

 He visited the house of Susie and Dave;

They got a Gumby and Pokey from the grave.

Then on to the home of little Jane Neeman;

She got a baby doll possessed by a demon.

 A monstrous train with tentacle tracks,

A ghoulish puppet wielding an ax,

A man eating plant disguised as a wreath,

And a vampire teddy bear with very sharp teeth.

There were screams of terror, but Jack didn’t hear it,

He was much too involved with his own Christmas spirit!

Jack finally looked down from his dark, starry frights

And saw the commotion, the noise, and the light.

 "Why, they’re celebrating, it looks like such fun!

They’re thanking me for the good job that I’ve done."

But what he thought were fireworks meant as goodwill

Were bullets and missiles intended to kill.

Then amidst the barrage of artillery fire,

Jack urged Zero to go higher and higher.

And away they all flew like the storm of a thistle,

Until they were hit by a well guided missile.

And as they fell on the cemetery, way out of sight,

Was heard, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

Jack pulled himself up on a large stone cross,

And from there he reviewed his incredible loss.

 "I thought I could be Santa, I had such belief"

Jack was confused and filled with great grief.

 Not knowing where to turn, he looked toward the sky,

Then he slumped on the grave and he started to cry.

And as Zero and Jack lay crumpled on the ground,

They suddenly heard a familiar sound.

"My dear Jack," said Santa, "I applaud your intent.

 I know wreaking such havoc was not what you meant.

 And so you are sad and feeling quite blue,

But taking over Christmas was the wrong thing to do.

I hope you realize Halloween’s the right place for you.

There’s a lot more, Jack, that I’d like to say,

But now I must hurry, for it’s almost Christmas day."

Then he jumped in his sleigh, and with a wink of an eye,

 He said, "Merry Christmas," and he bid them good bye.

Back home, Jack was sad, but then, like a dream, Santa brought Christmas to the land of Halloween.